How to Improve Self-esteem
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the way you perceive and value yourself. It’s what tells you whether you're good enough, capable, and deserving of happiness. When you have healthy self-esteem, you view yourself in a positive light, can acknowledge your strengths, and feel confident in your abilities. However, when self-esteem is low, it can lead to self-doubt, insecurity, and anxiety.
Become Aware of your Self-esteem
Sometimes people might not even be aware that they suffer from low self-esteem because it has become second nature to them. Here are five potential indicators of low self-esteem:
Staying in relationships or friendships where you are treated badly by the other person
Sabatoging yourself at work, settling for an unfulfilling job or constantly under earning
Neglecting self-care such as exercise, taking care of your health, or eating healthy food
Isolating yourself and avoiding relationships and friendships
Having frequent negative thoughts about yourself (a harsh inner critic) or putting yourself down
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Where Self-esteem Originates
Self-esteem comes from your growing up years and how the people who raised you, treated you and felt about you. Based on these factors, a picture of your “self” evolved. If a child is praised and encouraged, they will likely begin to develop high self-esteem. If a child is constantly criticized or ignored they may begin to feel inadequate or that they’re unimportant.
If parents aren’t able to give their children the support and care that they need, a child may try hard to elicit care by sensing whatever it is that might please their parent whether it’s to be independent, quiet, charming, or obedient. When even this fails to work, the child has no choice but to look within themselves and think that there is something wrong or lacking in them that makes their parents treat them this way. The child then sometimes becomes an adult who believes that they are bad or unworthy of love.
The good news is that adults are no longer dependent on their parents for survival. They can take action to improve their self-esteem and self-worth. They can get a job to be independent, move to a new city, cut off a bad relationship, or go to therapy.
In therapy with me, you can learn to become aware of negative self-talk, learn tools to challenge it, find the support to leave unhealthy situations, and implement practices to build self-esteem.
If you think you struggle with low self-esteem, contact me today to see how I can help.