In an earlier blog post, I wrote about self-esteem, what it is and where it comes from. In this post, we’ll explore ways to nurture and grow your self-esteem. When we have high self-esteem, we view ourselves with respect and approach life with a positive mindset. But cultivating high self-esteem is not always straightforward, especially in a world that often measures worth by external achievements and appearances. The good news is that self-esteem is not fixed; it can be grown with intentional effort. Here’s how you can start building and maintaining high self-esteem.
1. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences
The people you spend time with can significantly impact your self-esteem. Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and have faith in your abilities, rather than those who judge or criticize you and reinforce negative beliefs about yourself. Positive relationships can provide encouragement and support, helping you to see your worth through the eyes of others who genuinely care about you.
2. Challenge Negative Self-Talk
One of the barriers to high self-esteem is negative self-talk—the critical voice inside your head that points out your flaws and dismisses your accomplishments, a.k.a. the inner critic. Start by becoming aware of this inner dialogue. When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, challenge it by finding evidence to the contrary. Replace criticisms with thoughts that highlight your strengths and potential.
3. Take Action that Engenders Self-Respect
Take action that supports your values and makes you respect yourself. If you’re often late to engagements with people and you feel embarrassed about that, make a concerted effort to be on time so that your actions reflect the version of yourself that you aspire to be. Or if you’ve been procrastinating on items on your to do list, choose one item on that list to complete so that you can feel a sense of achievement for having completed something you’ve been avoiding.
4. Embrace Self-Care Practices
Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is essential for cultivating high self-esteem. Regular exercise, exploring interests and getting sufficient sleep can improve your mood. Additionally, engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation reinforces the idea that you are deserving of care and kindness.
5. Recognize Your Intrinsic Worth
Self-esteem begins with understanding that your value does not depend on external factors like success, appearance, or the validation of others. You are inherently worthy simply because you exist. Begin to internalize this truth.
Cultivating high self-esteem is an ongoing process, not a one-time achievement. Similar to taking care of a plant, you don’t just water it once and expect it to thrive and grow. By taking small, consistent steps towards valuing yourself more, you can create a foundation of self-esteem that empowers you to live a fulfilling life.
Sometimes, low self-esteem is deeply ingrained and may require the help of a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore the root causes of low self-esteem and the ways that it’s being reinforced in the present. Feel free to get in touch with me to see how I can help.
